Walk Away

by Lynn on July 14, 2010

Sometimes, when you get stuck or something is not working out, it can be a good idea to walk away for a while.

This doesn’t have to be a literal walking away. It really means disengaging from the “problem” and putting your focus elsewhere for a while.

It is often really difficult to find a solution from in the midst of a problem. Step back, change focus for a while and you will find that you come back with a fresher, less intense involvement that can often make a huge difference.

So next time you find yourself wanting to throw something or someone out of the window in frustration, WALK AWAY either physically or mentally and enjoy a complete change of focus.

Two Inspirational People

by Lynn on November 5, 2009

Following on from my post about self pity, I thought you might like to see a couple of the many videos that have inspired me.

When I start to feel sorry for myself, I watch one of them – and am reminded that there are many many people who have limitations that I don’t have. And some of them have stayed positive, made adversity work for them, inspired many thousands – even millions of people in the process.

It would be so easy for either of these amazing people to have given up, stopped trying to do anything in the world and just sunk into depression and self pity. But they didn’t. Instead they CHOSE to use their situations as springboards to power them up – and they made a difference.

1. Nick Vujicic

Here is a man who was born with a rare disorder. He has no arms, no legs and just one small foot. Yet that has not stopped him from graduating from college, surfing, swimming and thoroughly enjoying his life. Just look at his face – you can see the happiness there.

Nick has become a motivational speaker, traveling around showing people HOW TO GET BACK UP.

2. Randy Pausch

Randy was a professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh. He developed pancreatic cancer in September 2006 and lived for much longer than he was given in his medical prognosis. Randy gave an amazing speech about his childhood dreams in a lecture at the University called “The Last Lecture” and went on to co-author a book on the same theme.

Randy died in July 2008, but his lecture with its inspiring message has continued to live on.

This is a really long video, make sure you can set aside some quiet time to yourself before you start watching. It’s worth it!

How I Got Unstuck with EFT

by Lynn on November 2, 2009

There have been many times in my life that I’ve felt stuck and unable to move forward. These times have often resulted in prolonged bouts of self pity – or maybe the self pity came first. Who knows? When I was in it – well, I was IN IT – and couldn’t find my way out. In fact it was quite a long time before I knew that I WAS stuck. It sort of crept up on me.

In July 2008 I realised that I had got myself into one of those blocked, sorry states. It was about 8 months after the death of my mother. I had spent most of the time since she died, busily sorting out everyone elses lives, yet had not been sorting myself out. The result? I felt totally overwhelmed, exhausted and near to tears for most of the time.

One day I reached out for help. A phone call to a counselling service, then a series of counselling sessions started to put me back on track, but it wasn’t enough to bring my inner joyful self back completely.

Then I discovered EFT, which is short for Emotional Freedom Techniques. A friend of mine was going to attend an EFT training workshop near me and she suggested we meet for lunch. Instead, I decided to attend the training as well. And I’m so glad I did.

It worked like magic! Though it was only an introductory one day workshop, the techniques I learned on that day managed to clear up some of my sadness and overwhelm. Then I was able to easily continue to work with it at home. A couple of months later I completed the next stage of the training and just leapt ahead, feeling more positive and alive than I had done for over a year!

In case you have never heard of EFT before, it is an energy meridian therapy often described as an emotional version of acupuncture without the needles. The full name is Emotional Freedom Techniques and it was developed by Gary Craig. To find out more about EFT, visit emofree.com and look around. You can download the basic manual quite freely, and there are many case studies and a forum where you can study a whole range of things that have been successfully treated with EFT.

What EFT did for me, was to help me to release some accumulated emotional blocks so that I could start to function more naturally again. Ok, it looked a bit weird, but it was easy to do and it worked for me. I have continued to use EFT on a regular basis for physical and emotional challenges in my life, and have found it to be one of my most powerful and effective tools for positive life change.

So if you do feel stuck, lacking in energy, or unable to stop feeling sorry for yourself – you might want to consider investigating EFT. It’s a non invasive, pain free technique and has been shown to have some pretty amazing results.

Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

by Lynn on November 1, 2009

Stop I know – it’s so justified! You’ve had a bad deal. The going is tough. You feel so helpless and alone. You don’t have any support …  and the list goes on. There are many reasons why feeling sorry for yourself seems to be perfectly reasonable – and it’s so easy to give in to it.


All the time you spend feeling sorry for yourself is time wasted. Unless, of course, you enjoy feeling really crummy and miserable. In which case, keep on enjoying it until you’ve had enough. No one is going to stop you.

Before you bite off my head and tell me I don’t understand, read on a bit more.  You are probably right that I don’t understand your particular situation and what makes you feel you deserve to feel sorry for yourself.

BUT I do know about self pity. I have spent countless hours, days – even months on and off – feeling hard done by, sorry for myself, sad, alone, in pain and unsupported.

I have sunk onto my bed and howled at the unfairness of life. I have vowed that I can’t go on any more, that I’ve had enough, that its all too hard. And dragged myself day by day in automatic living without the joy that I craved, just feeling poor me. I did it during and after my divorce, I did it after my mother died and I was left looking after two dependent adult males. I still do it now as I struggle with the challenges of caring for a 90 year old father and a physically disabled brother.

AND I know that the times spent wrapped up inside my self pity blanket have made me feel worse. It hasn’t helped me to do what has to be done. For me, those times have been wasted moments.

The thing is, self pity doesn’t change anything. It just makes you feel worse and even more helpless.

Self pity doesn’t pay the bills.

Self pity doesn’t help you make any positive changes – whatever the situation.

Until, of course, you get so fed up that you decide to stop the self pity and do something positive.

So what can you do to break the cycle, to start dragging yourself out of your sorry muddy puddle?

There are many things that work for me and maybe one of these might just help you  too.

  • Get up and go for a walk. Walk fast, walk slow, look around you and enjoy the experience.
  • Do something physical around the house – vigorously clean the floor, clear out some cupboards, make bread.
  • Go online and Google for uplifting things. Look for YouTube videos of talks given by motivational speakers such as Anthony Robins or Wayne Dyer. Spend half an hour stumbling in categories such as self help or spiritual.
  • Find stories of people who have overcome MUCH worse problems that you – be inspired.
  • Write out all your gripes, sadnesses, problems – just keep writing till you dry up = then do a ceremonial burning of the writing.
  • Find someone to talk to and have a good moan – but keep it to a prearranged time limit. You could do this on your own too.
  • Find a therapy such as EFT that helps to release emotional blocks and baggage. Then use it – every day, even when you think you don’t need it.

And know that this post is written just as much for me as for you. Because I do forget. I do indulge in bouts of whinging and self pity. But the trick is to stop feeling sorry for yourself as soon as possible so that you can get on with the business of living your life and making the changes you want.

If Not Now – When?

September 20, 2009

Whenever you think about making a positive life change, do you put it off or decide that someone else needs to change? Fact 1: The longer you put it off, the harder it is to start making that change. Fact 2: Expecting, hoping or waiting for someone or something else to change is not going [...]

Read the full article →

Moaning, Dreaming and Hoping

July 13, 2009

It’s all very well moaning about things you don’t like, dreaming about how life should be and hoping that things will get better. Sometimes they will – but often they won’t. Moaning – whether out loud or privately in your own mind – just digs you deeper into a pit of self pity, and keeps [...]

Read the full article →

Changing Your Life – What Do You Want to Change?

July 6, 2009

The big question: What exactly do you want to change about your life? If you are going to make any positive life change, then you need to find a place to start changing your life. So – click on this mind map and start exploring some of the different possibilities. What do YOU want to [...]

Read the full article →

Fun with Vision Boards

January 9, 2009

I love making vision boards. I enjoy the whole creative process! The dreams, ideas and goals that I put into my vision boards stay firmly planted in my thoughts – helping me to remain focused and enthusiastic. Over the years, I have experimented with various ways of making them. I’ve used coloured pencils, paints and [...]

Read the full article →

New Year Resolutions and Creative Visions

January 7, 2009

It’s a brand new year, and a favourite time for people to decide to change things about their life. So they make some sort of New Year Resolution. Now I’ve resisted making resolutions in the past. I KNOW that saying I’m going to give up chocolate, or vow to keep my paperwork more organised, or [...]

Read the full article →

A Black and White World?

January 3, 2009

I used to do a little exercise with the kids I taught which had them thinking about what the world would be like without colour. We would brainstorm ideas, and then they would write stories about a black and white world. Inevitably there would be many points made about how boring it would be without [...]

Read the full article →